A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah. Ronald Reagan

I never think of the future - it comes soon enough Albert Einstein

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. Dean Martin

If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life. Tommy Lasorda

I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house. Zsa Zsa Gabor

Ninety percent of the game is half mental. Jim Wohford

Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself. - after being told he looked cool. Yogi Berra

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. Bill Cosby

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. Albert Einstein

I can resist everything except temptation. Oscar Wilde

To cease smoking is the easiest thing. I ought to know. I've done it a thousand times. Mark Twain

The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations. David Friedman

I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli. George Bush

The shortest distance between two points is under construction. Noelie Altito

Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. Ken Dodd

One has fear in front of a goat, in back of a mule, and on every side of a fool Edgar Watson Howe

My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil. Paul Getty

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. Bill Cosby

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together. Oprah Winfrey

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. Groucho Marx