Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it. Bill Cosby

I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup? Jerry Seinfield

It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously. Oscar Wilde

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road. Henry Ward Beecher

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night' Charles M. Schulz

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night Dave Barry

Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. Unknown

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar. Drew Carey

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things George Carlin

Old age is 15 years older than I am. Oliver Wendell Holmes

The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes. William Davis

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. Robin Williams

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood Mary Hirsch

I will find humor in my everyday life by looking for people I can laugh at Unknown

Humor is tragedy plus time Mark Twain

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide. Mahatma Gandhi

Humor is reason gone mad. Groucho Marx

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing. Mark Twain

One never needs their humor as much a when they argue with a fool. Chinese Proverb